Wheatberries
From WWR
Contents |
What are wheatberries?
Wheatberries, also called groats, are whole wheat kernels that have not been milled, polished, or heat treated. Wheatberries are brown and nearly round in appearance; they take over an hour to cook, but the time can be reduced if they are presoaked. Wheat berries have a robust, nutlike flavor that goes well with other hearty foods. They can be used for grain-based main dishes, served as a side dish, or added to soups and yeast-bread doughs. (Source)
What does this have to do with Whole Wheat Radio?
Absolutely nothing. The proprietors of WWR do not serve food to its listeners, nor do they grow or process any significant amount of wheat. At WWR, a wheatberry is an imaginary entity. Listeners collect wheatberries, trade them, hoard them, give them away, and sometimes use them as currency in international money markets.
Note: If you purchase a CD from Esther Golton or from an artist who appears at a House Concert, there's a good chance that the CD will arrive in a package that contains actual wheatberries. So when you open the package, they will get all over the floor and you have to clean them up -- cursing Esther the entire time.
How do I get wheatberries?
Contribute! Rank songs. Provide song keywords. Update artist information that is missing. Request blocks of music. Create or revise pages. Just about any meaningful contribution throws some wheatberries in your pocket.
The wheatberry awards are calculated on a 'curve' just like with school tests. The system looks at everyone's contributions and then assigns the following award based on how much an individual has contributed in relation to everyone else:
= I've contributed a bunch! I've got lots of wheatberries! I'm a straight A student! Worship me!
= I've contributed a lot but don't spend all my time on this dang site.
= I contribute but live an otherwise balanced life.
= I contribute and am a normal person at the same time.
= I contribute but really, this is just a website ya know?
Note the awards can fluctuate rapidly depending on what contributions other members of the community are making at the time. It is an extremely convoluted yet precise algorithm, the details of which are quite difficult to explain:
How do I give wheatberries to someone?
Currently, you can't.
What do I do with wheatberries?
To be determined.
Note: There's a rumor going around that if you accumulate enough wheatberries, Jimbob will send you a new Jeep Wrangler. Nobody knows (except Jimbob, and maybe Esther) how many wheatberries you need in order to collect this prize. However, a few listeners have actually reported that a shiny new Wrangler appeared unexpectedly in their driveway.
Research on wheatberries
A study conducted by Mozie and J-Walk in 2004 concluded that there are exactly 13,769 Wheatberries in a pound. This study was done using Excel.
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What listeners have to say about Wheatberries
Wheatberries are to Whole Wheat Radio as a veal cutlet is to a sewing machine.
Wheatberries are the old Corndogs
External links
Categories: Chat | How to
